Playlist | Inconsequential Ranting

Hey readers! 

I apologise I haven't blogged in a horribly long time. Um but I haven't returned with any photoshoots either (not that it matters all that crucially). I get kind of rant-y whenever I blog, like it's just my babble and stuff so just take it as if I'm ranting to you. Well, how has life been to you lately? I've had a pretty conflicting week so far, but it's been interesting and thought-provoking. But my conclusions are as thus far: I need to decide who I am. 

No one's perfect, but still, I consider it relatively astonishing that after 18 years of my life I've yet to resolve my identity. Sure, I can always go back to the root of it all: child of God, loved and cherished by Him, yet something has yet to click in between to bridge my identity gap. Sometimes, I don't even think I know myself very well at all, and I'd like to just take someone who might somehow know me from the inside out to tell me what I'm like or who I am. You know, something to define me. I've got a deficit - a lack of a dream, passion and drive; I witness these values in the least expected places/people, where so unsuspectingly, the unobserved success stories slip past.

I've been thinking. I've been relative, not absolute. Well, not in my moral system (it must stay intact), but in terms of my passion and drive. Be it in dance, music or fashion, I can't cleanly say that none of them have been tinted and tainted with the desire to be recognised by others. Well, recognition is not exclusive to our affection for our sport, but the question I've been bouncing off the walls of mind is this: without the applause, without the acknowledgment, would you still do it? Would you still continue with this thing you call your passion and your love? That, for me, is where someone's drive lies: it's intrinsic. It's absolute instead of relative to let's say, other's persuasion or dissuasion. But what if my very passion is aggrandised by the salute received? Perhaps none of those three things are my root passion; rather, they are mere manifestations symptomatic of my root passion - the sprouts of my buried genesis. Even as I pen this (or rather jab at the keyboard), I think I've just been reminded that my root passion could actually be the love of performing. 

And that comes with its horde of concerns and considerations.

How do I even begin to dissect that???

For now, I think I think too much; raising way too many questions with too few answers. [Disclaimer: I love to play with my words, it does not always mean that I'm convoluting my thinking.]

Meanwhile, enjoy some music from my playlist, aptly titled 'Thingamajigs I Hope I Do Not Get Sick Of' //

I sound so unsure of myself right now. 

As is captioned for this picture below: I miss clear skies, I miss definition, and I miss surefooted-ness | caught up in the grey areas I refused to step foot in at the start.

On a side note, I tried to write with a little more care and standard. Been inspired by a certain blog written by someone of my age. And lately I've been writing another song. Hm. 

Much Love, 

Jubitai

Vintage Reclamation | CNY

Hey readers!

So whether or not you're living in my area of the world, I'm sure you'd have heard it's the Lunar New Year. Just saying, I'm perfectly happy to be chinese, although I do admit sometimes I forget that I'm chinese (I mean, speaking English pretty much 24/7 and having lost touch with the language since a year ago). Chinese New Year, or as I will affectionately term it, CNY, is one of the most awesome occasions/holidays ever, especially because of the food. Pineapple tarts, bak kwa, roasted cashews, salted egg butter cookies, tapioca chips etc. Oh drools. 

Anyway, this year I've done something different for my CNY; it's what I'd like to claim as vintage reclamation. So last year end I went for a short trip to Japan and had a haul of vintage stuff from the thrift store there, one of the pieces being a midi (or maxi for the uh petite ones) dress with a bishop raglan sleeve. I tried it on and it felt so old, both literally and in terms of the age at which someone might be seen wearing it, so when I brought it back I knew I wanted to edit it somehow cause after all I really liked the print and the colour. And not to mention, I have a terrible habit of not wanting to take a photo of the original piece whenever I do DIY-ing, so here are pictures to show the piece now at least :)

(Yes, photoshoot time.)

I particularly loved the styling for this outfit as it seemed to all just fall into place nicely, although it's probably ironic that for a CNY outfit I'm taking on a vintage style since people usually anticipate and love buying their new clothes just for the Lunar New Year. Doesn't matter to me really, DIY-ing makes my clothes re-newed + perfectly unique => fabulous, as summed up by my first picture.

Honestly, the most time consuming part of this DIY session was probably the beading. Now I know why embellished stuff are so expensive; it takes time (and bruised fingers).

To describe my styling for this outfit, it's definitely be along the lines of my own take on vintage. The trendy halter neck style dress meets the bold prints that function both on the vintage side and the modern. The complementary blue-green and cool silver beads against the red of the dress add a different dynamic without clashing. Shoes were self-explanatory: cut-out brogues take a fresh spin on the vintage look too. Tortoise-shell sunglasses? Check. Ladies' bag? Check. And not to mention, the simple studs kept the look young, so no over dramatised accessorising to take the attention away from the beading. 

Decided that hair-wise I was always slacking off by just letting it down, so I tried to be vaguely more hardworking this time round. Nah, just kidding, a messy dutch braid was all it took to neaten the look. In terms of make up, I did my usual eyebrows and brown cat-eye, but this time round, I tried a darkish lip so as to balance out my face with the strong print of my dress. 

What I'm Wearing: Vintage DIY Dress, ASOS Marzie Leather Cut-Out Brogues, Metal Detail Bag from Hong Kong, Studs (own), Tortoiseshell Sunglasses from Japan, Estee Lauder Hot Kiss Shimmer Kipstick

Have a blessed CNY! :)

Much Love, 

Jubitai

The Minimalist Pursuit

Hey readers!

Haven't blogged in a mega long time; should be doing my work now, but decided I could afford to take some time out to blog today. Plus I recently got these gorgeous brogues from Shoecult by Nastygal; well, I needed new shoes cause my two old pairs of creepers are dying out like dinosaurs. Plus another few buys from Feistheist (love their minimalism btw)~

Today I've gotta go out again, so may as well do a mini-shoot eh :)

Pretty informal, but here's to an awesome #ootd :) Ignore the bedhead I slept with wet hair :( 

What I'm Wearing: Feist Heist White Mimosa Blouse, Bershka Skinny Jeans, Nasty Gal Charlie Oxfords, Forever 21 Silver Rings and Tear Drop Necklace

Makeup: Did my brows, dabs of concealer, a subtle cat eye with brown eyeliner, and staining my lips with sephora matte red lipstick

I personally really like the idea of staining one's lips cause it adds a subtle pop of colour without going overboard for daily wear, though someday I do want to wear my (full-blown) dark purple lipstick out. 

Hope you've enjoyed the outfit in this post, cause I'm loving' it; always keeping in mind comfort + style + class.

Love, Jubitai

When Inspiration Hits | Music

Hey readers!

I've been wanting to update my blog for so so so long, but haven't gotten down to it cause photoshoots just take so long, especially since I don't have a photographer as of yet (I rely on self-timers); it' super time consuming. But that aside, today, inspiration hit and I wrote a song :)

Watch the vid below to check it out!

I know I'm still quite raw at this, so do pardon any mistakes/nonsensical lyrics and stuff (especially the last part :( )! Meanwhile here're the lyrics for you to follow while watching the vid~ 

Here's What I'm Not

Verse 1:

I'm not just here for your entertainment, your clown of five years

I'm not just here; your thrill ride seeker, dream spurrer

I'm not just here to take your burdens 

Here's what I'm not, not for your mere expectations

Chorus:

Here are my thoughts of little consequence which may not mean a thing to you

Here are my overridden voices taking centerstage, take the mike from you

I'm drawing the veil, breaking the heart ache,

You left in your wreckage

Verse 2:

I'm not just here; your wine glass partner, turn the corner

and I'll be there no matter how or why

I'm not just here to take your burdens 

Here's what I'm not, not for your mere expectations

[Chorus]

Bridge:

I wasn't kidding when I said promises are meant for keeping

I wasn't kidding when I said forever is forever

I wasn't kidding when I said promises are meant for keeping

I wasn't kidding when I said promises are meant for keeping

[Chorus]

What I'm Wearing: F21 Velvet Skater Dress, Sephora Matte Red Lipstick

And as usual, the happy shots to end off!

Much love,

Jubitai

Vulnerable | Salvaged

Hi readers! 

Haven't blogged in a long long time/

This whole "holiday" has been crazy packed and I've already fallen sick twice within a single month. Feeling somewhat terrible even as I blog right now. Anyway, just did this shoot yesterday, and right after which I got a fever and slept so much I got tired of sleeping. Sadly, the shoot turned out not as great as I hoped for it to be, and I had to salvage what I could this morning. Then again, I'm somewhat enjoying the vintage grainy feel of the shots after editing.

I just felt like this song echoed this shoot. A Great Big World and Aguilera's voices complement each other really well; they're beautifully haunting and vulnerable in song. That was exactly it: the vulnerability which reflected the sentiments of my shoot. 



There's that certain sense of solitude and guarded vulnerability. I wonder, maybe, if you know the feeling when you're so made-up and trim on the outside, so gelled together without a single thing out of place, yet you're crumbling down inside. Well, it's been happening to me. Ironically, whilst others may get confidence out of their looks, sometimes I feel downright terrible when I dress up and I lose my self-assurance. Even more ironic that I call myself a fashion-art blogger on my Instagram profile. It hasn't always been like that though; might also be the result of a myriad of things happening so far and a few of my own heart issues like my oxymoronic tendency to push people away the more I favour them (only some people, not all my close friends of course). Perhaps it was good for me to have fallen sick yesterday, gave me quite a bit of time to chew up the big pieces of heart issues and think 'em through. Therefore, letting some things go and I'll be on the road to physical and emotional recovery. Haha but don't get me wrong, I'm not depressed or anything, just overworked in my physical/emotional capacity for the moment. Here I am, with my little slice of vulnerability.

What I'm wearing: Pale Pink Hi-Neck Dress purchased from Carousell, Purple Vintage Ruffle Maxi Skirt from Hong Kong (thrifted)

Sorry about the lack of happy pictures to end off for this post~

 (Still with) Much love, 

Jubitai

Anniversary | Where it all started

This was where it all started: exactly one year ago. 

In the beginning, it all started from a single photoshoot which honestly was meant for filling up space on my AEP blog last year. Now, it's an avid hobby.

From being armed with an Olympus digital camera, cheesy overlay phone apps and Instagram, to now (to my relief), equipped with a DSLR and proper blog, doing photoshoots purposefully.

I'd say I've grown in my style, and from utter randomness to more randomness, from raw and unskilled to a little more skilled, from utter noob to less noob :) Still learning, still trying to grasp what I haven't/ 

Below are the stuff and photos I myself haven't seen in a long long long time, and a short visual diary of where it all began.

Oh, nostalgia.

Love, 

Jubitai 

P.S. sorry for the bad quality; changed my laptop since then and I took these off Facebook.

Hong Kong | Escapade

Hey readers! 

Can't decide how much I like Hong Kong. Haven't been back there in at least a decade, so let's just count this as my first time since I don't recall a single thing abut the HK from years back.

Anyway, just returned from HK and here is my visual diary; do enjoy!

We'll begin with some random shots:

Victoria Peak - from here you can observe how the spheres of 'man-made' and 'nature' collide. Mega windy. 

And by mega windy I seriously mean mega windy. That's my hair without even trying/

"Because the gate might be closed, but it's never locked; open it"

Highlight 1: Lai Chi Chong Geosite

After all, it was a Geography orientated trip, so above's a picture of one of the fault lines at a geosite (which we had to hike to btw). HK has such abundant and beautiful natural landforms. It was a little sickening, I admit, to keep hiking and looking a green, green more green, and tun rocks, stones and more rocks whilst hearing Sam (the old guy in the picture below) our tour guide explaining the geography behind all the landforms in semi-broken English punctuated with 'ah's and 'uh's. But then again, it was worthwhile and I'm really grateful to have had Sam for our tour guide. He was real friendly and you can tell he does know his stuff.  So yayers~ :)

Fool's gold. It's called fool's gold for a reason. Sam was explaining that this was because many people who stumbled across this shiny material used to think that they had stumbled upon real treasure, only to find out that as much as 'not all that glitters is gold', all they had discovered was cheap iron. 

And a class picture at the same geosite! Sadly I don't have any pictures of the full troupe of us who headed down to HK.

Plus, I took advantage of the geosite to be a ballerina project wannabe. Well, but an asian version in an asian country. 

To sum things up, I genuinely enjoyed the geosite for all its beauty and vastness. Besides, amazing isn't it? It doesn't need to stand the test of time, it's perfectly natural and it's a reflection of the passing of time.

Highlight 2: Li Po Chun UWC HK

 I didn't manage to get a good snapshot within the UWC campus grounds, but the principal of the school, after allowing us a great time of interacting with students from the school kindly brought us down to a beach near the school. 

Before moving on, allow me to just introduce you to Arzu, one of the students from the class who literally just turned 18 the day we went to visit the school! She and a few other students were bringing my classmates and I to tour the school and they're all really amiable and open people; they are after all the make up of the school, and they really did create a contrasting environment from that of my own school. As we came to learn, all of them had to earn their spot in the school in the first place, going through numerous rounds of tests through written test, interactive camps as well as interviews. I guess that's also what made the environment they created so different. They genuinely wanted to attend UWC and make a difference even as they were in their school. Furthermore, one of the things that came up very strongly was that of 'family'. Being homesick may not be a choice, but the way that fellow schoolmates chose to react to those who were homesick was an active choice: Arzu was relaying to us about how she had been homesick, but her roommates, upon finding out, decided to make some hot chocolate throw a slumber party for her. Surely those were such simple acts, but they carried the spirit of something deeper than just an act of kindness. They not only felt 'family' in their school, they created it for themselves despite the diverse backgrounds (come on, over a 100 nationalities in a small cohort of a few hundred). I can only say that I was impressed. It was all so subtle, but their attitudes definitely made a difference; perhaps it is a chasm that I myself may never be able to observe in full extent being immersed in the environment I'm in, but there is something worth learning from them. 

Okay, now just on to the next part where we headed down to the beach. Not going to spam so much wording for now. Honestly though, I was more interested in the overgrown plants than the beach itself.

The above was taken by Siew (Y)/

Highlight 3: High Island Reservoir

Mega windy. Again.

Plus the threat of falling rocks.

Highlight 4: Ocean Park 

Aka my chance to stalk random people since I was helping to take care of the DSLR while the other went to take the roller coaster.

 There they are, off to ride Arctic Blast while I people-watch.

Aside from just observing their clothes, I was observing their feet as well. I was really intrigued when I started to capture shots in which two pairs of legs were synchronised. From there I was starting to explore the idea of feet telling a story instead of the idea of using the face to do so (my usual comfort zone in photography).

The concept was basically: What if feet could tell your relationships for you?

Couple.

Style Sisters.

Friends.

Mother and Son.

Sorry, shark headbands are only for the trendy.  

Highlight 5: Stephen Hui Geological Museum

Had the idea of playing with the projection on the screen. No worries, I looked through the exhibits before playing :)

Seriously though, I liked the idea. 

Anyway to end off, I really have too many pictures to show you guys but if you're a reader and you're friends with me on FB, I'll be uploading it there, scan through if you're interested!

Here's to a less narcissistic ending but an equally happy shot:

Say hi to Kaps offering chocolate graham biscuits, which I probably will go scavenge for after I recover. 

Much love,

Jubitai